Have you ever noticed that many people talk, but not all communicate with effectiveness?
There is a tremendous difference between talking and communicating. Effective communication means making a connection with the other person who we believe really understands us.
Effective communication skills can be a tremendous asset in all aspect of your life.
Why is effective communication so powerful?
The answer to that question can be found in a quote by Kim Krizan from the movie “Waking Life,” “what we all want is for someone to understand us, and to feel we have connected.” When we connect, we feel a special affinity with the person who we believe really understands us.
Communication is how your message is delivered and how it is received. It is two-way, involving both the sender, and the receiver.
Effective communication involves not only words, but your body language, what “voice” you use, and the art of listening.
How can you improve your communication skills?
The following tips can help you to communicate more clearly and effectively
1. Be Aware of your Own Vocal Tone
When speaking, your tone of voice says a great deal about the emotions you’re really feeling during a conversation. Pay attention to how your tone affects how others respond to you and the emotions they express in return. Remember, what comes back to us from others is indicative of what we have originally put out.
2. Make Good Eye Contact
If you fail to make good eye contact, it sends a message that you are either evading something, hiding something, or simply not interested in the current discussion. Eye contact is critical to communication.
Practice your eye contact skills by making eye contact in four to five second intervals. Keeping eye contact with the other person will also help keep your attention on them as well. It also stops your mind from wandering.
3. Make Your Communication More Effective and Meaningful
Verbal and nonverbal communication skills work together in conveying your message. You can improve your spoken words by using nonverbal gestures that reinforce and support what you are saying. Remember, your whole body, as well as your mind, is a constant and powerful channel for communication.
4. Look for Verbal/Non-Verbal Contrasts
Check to see if the other person’s words match their nonverbal gestures. Research indicates that when words fail to match up with nonverbal behavior, people tend to ignore what is said and focus on nonverbal expressions of moods, thoughts, and emotions instead.
5. Clarification is Critical for Effective Communication
Check in with your listener to make sure that your message is being understood as intended, and never assume that your listener has the same knowledge or interest in a subject as you. The person you communicate with will listen and absorb your information when you present it in their terms. Communicate to them using their interests, experiences and background.
6. Give Your Full Attention
We might think we can multi-task, especially during a conversation. Divided attention is actually no attention. As humans, we really can only focus on one thing at a time. During a conversation, minimize potential distractions within and without. Listening is an active process of trying to understand what someone else is saying. Listening is not a passive, quiet moment when you are just waiting until it’s your turn to talk again.
When you practice these tips on effective communication by using your “voice” effectively, making certain your non-verbal communication matches the message you want to send and listening actively, focusing on the other person, with understanding and empathy, you will be on the path to success in your career, your business, your relationships, your health and your life!
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kim
26 Aug 2015Hi! This was a great article, insightful and to the point. Very timely, too! Thanks for posting.
Josee
26 Aug 2015You’re quite welcome. Things always go better when you communicate effectively.
Tae
26 Aug 2015Thanks for this reminder Josee! I have always been told I was an excellent listener. But lately, with all the distractions of email, social media, texts, etc. my focus has been divided. My partner has noticed & let me know he’s not happy about it. I’m now making a conscious effort to put the phone down whenever we are together, so I don’t miss something he says.
Josee
27 Aug 2015Good for you! Taking responsibility for one’s actions is the first step in solving any situation. Glad to see you and your partner communicate effectively.
Beth Tunis
26 Aug 2015thanks for sharing, #5 clarification is a great one for me to remember to incorporate!
Mateja
26 Aug 2015Great tips! Communication is important for any relationship.
Josee
27 Aug 2015You got that right. It’s key to any situation.
Patricia Young
26 Aug 2015Great post Josee! I agree with you, there’s a difference between talking and communicating. Like you said, at the end of the day, what we all want is to feel that we’re making a connection. Great tips! Thanks for sharing! :)
Tina Games
27 Aug 2015As someone who majored in communications – and who has spent over 30 years in communications-related fields, I really appreciate this blog post! ~ You hit the nail on the head with your comment, “There is a tremendous difference between talking and communicating.” ~ Connection (which requires active listening) is key in every aspect of communication. And if you’re not connecting, you’re really not communicating. ~ Great tips! :-)