Have you ever had an idea, a goal, a dream, or a sudden burst of confidence to do something new, only to be reeled in by your internal voice that says, “Who do you think you are?” All of a sudden we find ourselves in a tug-of-war between our confident, forward moving self and the other self – the one who holds us back by causing us to question our ability. You’ve heard those voices say things like:
You always start a new project and never finish it.
You tried something like this before and failed. Why do you think it will be different this time?
You didn’t grow up in a family that did things like this.
Don’t be so full of yourself.
What makes you think you can do this?
These negative messages sap you of your energy, reduces your self-confidence, and robs you from living a vibrant healthy life.
As a coach, I have found these 3 ways to work best on how to turn the negative messages to positive:
Here are some tips to turn off the inner critic:
- Shift your inner critic messages to messages of accomplishment – whenever your negative voices show up, remind yourself of the positive qualities you possess.
- Evaluate the critical message. Is it true? Is there a bit of truth? Or is it a lie?
- Look yourself in a mirror and say, “Yes, this may be true about me, AND this is also true.” For example: “Yes, sometimes I do procrastinate and I am really productive when I put my mind to it.”
Just remember, when you hear the critical voice asking “Just who do you think you are?” you have the power to turn the volume up, down, or better yet, turn it off.
Replace that negative voice with a supportive, positive one that speaks power into who you are.
2. Move from Doubt to Get It Done
Women who get things done don’t let anxiety and worry hold them back. They are too busy moving forward to get side-tracked by doubt. They approach new opportunities with a perspective of hope and possibility which inspires them to focus on what they want and take action.
Doubters, on the other hand, come from a place of worry and a perspective of challenges and limitations. When we’re doubtful about being able to achieve what we want, we open our minds to negative thoughts. And, as you can imagine, the more negative thoughts we have, the less likely we are to get started.
Doubt can be paralyzing. Even skilled snow skiers sometimes stand too long on the edge of a ski slope, looking down. The longer they look over the tips of their skis, the steeper the mountain appears, the higher the moguls, the further the fall. Doubt creeps in and sometimes the thrill of a lifetime is abandoned for something safer.
What about you? Are you standing on the edge doubting when you could take the next step? Next time you find that your doubts are holding you back from your goals and dreams, take these 4 simple, yet powerful, steps:
- Take a deep breath.
- Remember the skills you have that support you to move forward.
- Determine your first safe step.
- And just do it!
Being optimistic is more than seeing the world through rose colored glasses. Optimism shows itself through your attitude, belief and actions. When you’re optimistic everything in life is different.
Some characteristics of optimistic people include:
- Set more goals and put more effort into attaining their goals.
- Stay more engaged when challenges arise.
- Cope better during stressful times.
- Feel better about themselves and the world around them.
- Get more done.
In fact, it turns out that optimism is a predictor of work performance. The higher the optimism, the better your performance in all areas of life.
Here are some of my favorite coaching tips to become more optimistic:
- Expect favorable outcomes. This actually primes your brain to be on the lookout for and recognize possibilities.
- Make a list of the good things in your career or life. Scan your day for three good things that happened that day.
- Journal about positive experiences.
- Make positive comments about the world and people around you.
And just in case doubt and negativity might be clouding your thinking right now, trust me, this information has been scientifically proven. And doesn’t that just make you a little more optimistic!
These 3 ways of turning negative messages into positive will help you elevate your confidence and achieve your health goals with grace and power.
When it comes to living a healthy life full of energy and vitality, your confidence is an essential ingredient to your success no matter who you are, where you’re starting from or what your goals are.
Would you like to know more on how to bring out the essence of your unique brilliance and shine your confidence?
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Brandy Schuster
28 Oct 2015Excellent blog post! I try to live from your first point -turning negative self talk into positive self talk- and you are right on the money! So important! The section on turning doubt to get it done is a powerful message and one I will be conscious of going forward and see myself sharing with many others as this comes up in my circle. Thank you also for the poignant facts on optimism :-) Great inspiration! :-)
Stacey
28 Oct 2015Thanks so much for this post! It is super timely and helpful!! I’m looking at achieving some BIG goals over the next two months and I’m working with a lot of negative thoughts related to them! Your post helps me focus on the expectation that they WILL happen!! xxoo
Lea Tran
28 Oct 2015Thanks so much for this post, Josee. Your tips will definitely help me to move out of self-doubt and into action :)
Tae
28 Oct 2015I’ve been having doubts & letting fear hold me up, so your tips are perfectly timed. I need more confidence & optimism to kick my fear to the curb. Thanks!
Tina Games
29 Oct 2015What a rich blog post, Josee – it’s chock-full of great tips! ~ I especially like “expect favorable outcomes.” What a fantastic way to shift! :-)
Teena
31 Oct 2015Great post Josee! I can totally relate to everything that you said…I deal with my inner critic on a daily basis and I am proud to say that I am able to tame it on most occasions. Self-doubt can be paralyzing and I refuse to fall into that drama. So I tell myself to get over myself, it’s BS, not true and keep moving forward! Sometimes it’s gentle and sometimes its strong, but I believe we have to do whatever it takes to not let our inner critic’s volume get out of control. Thank you for sharing your wisdom Josee!
Teena
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